MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

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MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Gunner 46 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 2:52

THATS WHAT ALL OF US THINK ABOUT COD4....AND WE STILL PLAY IT!!!


"" Finally someone that is worth a shot at ""
- Calderoli against enemies in Call of Duty 4

"" But how? Is already over? "
- Casual Gamer on Call of Duty 4 after finishing the single player campaign


Call of Duty 4 (or CoD4 for his friends and his girlfriend) is the first episode of the series where instead of the usual kill Germans we let off steam by killing immigrants and Communists.


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Synopsis
The game is set in Italy and tells the story of a group of highlander leaguers who awaken after years of leave to return to work. Unfortunately for them will find that the jobs are all in the hands of non-Europeans. Then decided to recruit a group of unemployed Lombard and leave for the liberation of northern Italy. In their journey toward freedom will join the Veneto, with whom they will discover that behind all this business there are far more formidable Neapolitan communists who want to launch missiles on all private properties in Italy to realize their utopia. Our heroes infiltrate the missile base and save Italy. Unfortunately for them, after having survived a myriad of patient encounters "4 against with 10 thousand respawn" race everyone at the end of the game.


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Celebrities
The characters are divided into immortals and mortals. Immortals react to shots of gunfire and explosions devastating squirming for a moment and just after resuming what they were doing. In practice they are immune to anything. The only way you can die in a "very dramatic scene."

Soap: One of the characters that we use. He was a former owner of a metalworking company that has lost everything after a Moroccan worker hired was black sawn wrong leg. Now no longer even have the money to wash, so his friends at the bar they call "Soap." Soap, on the advice of his former lawyer, says not a word from beginning to end the game, which is confined to follow orders without question and usually the most thankless tasks are assigned, such as "Soap, go to Come along in that minefield and exceeds the fence where they're watchdogs, you must turn off at all costs the enemy anti-aircraft turret protected by 25 terrorists armed to the teeth, to allow my areoplanino toy to land safely. "

Captain Price: Reincarnation of an immortal hero of World War II, brings
mustache so ridiculous and always smokes a cigar. Despite all that it is he who reads between the ranks of Lombardy. His fate is uncertain at the end of the game, despite being hit by a missile fired from a helicopter, it is thought that this was not a dramatic enough for someone like him. On a mission of the game we use it, going back in time to when he had not yet achieved immortality. During this mission we will attempt on the life of Bertinotti.

"I'm fine!"

(Captain Price after a headshot)

<--- That's Captain Price. Also note the spectacular graphics Cod4

Gas: another of the Highlander Lombard. His nickname has a dual derivation: first, because after getting a job after months of research, tried to commit suicide by attaching the barrel of the gas. Fortunately, however, had already disconnected the supply by a couple of days. The second reason for his nickname comes from his problems aerophagia. At the end of the game dramatically dies, killed by a blow to the head by the head of the Communist Fausto Bertinotti.

Sergeant Paul FigliodiGiacomo: Sergeant Paul FigliodiGiacomo Veneto is one of the heroes that the game will let us check some missions mainly set in Naples. For example, in the mission "The Latrine" we will leave a tank ally trapped in piles of garbage in Naples. Sergeant FigliodiGiacomo lost their lives during the mission "New Year's Eve in Naples", killed by a new prototype of illegal firecracker.

Captain Mac Melun: Captain Mac Lombard Melun is a hero, the one who taught the tricks of the trade to Captain Price. Taught him: the art of war, escape, bills and obsessive hatred towards the Roma and to any kind of extra. Will be your master when in the role of price in missions set 7 years before. Blasphemes as mid Mosconi mission where you have already killed Bertinotti Case: A helicopter on the feet. It is said that Mec Melun has disappeared after the mission and went to Activision to extend its deepest grievances, the role assigned to shit.


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Single Player
The single player in Call of Duty 4 is completed in 4 different difficulties. Depending on your skills ... or your ability to self-control.

* Recruit: Playing difficulties you'll recruit armies to fight agguerritissimi fucked up, they will do whatever is possible to cause pneumonia, stirring the air around you and above your companions with their guns to soft. If by chance they hit they usually apologize and commit suicide alone. Rate of blasphemy practically nil, just for fun so if you blaspheme.

* Soldier: A soldier difficulties enemies will also know of your existence and will shoot you as your companions. Thanks to your normal regenerative capacity you should not have too many problems during the game, especially after you have understood the meaning of the indicator of the grenade. Rate of blasphemy usually low, except in some occasions.

* Expert: For the man who should not ever ask. Rate of curses: medium.

* Veteran: Play on Veteran difficulty you face hordes, the style of Diablo 2, soldiers of genetically modified, programmed exclusively for you as a priority target, equipped with a telescopic sight and precision to enable it to execute a 'surgery on the cornea from 100 feet away using an M60, with a reaction time of 0.1 seconds and able to identify them wherever you hide, probably due to smell and other senses type (x-ray vision, etc. .. ..) Moreover, all enemies will be the quarterback missed professionals from beginning to end of the game and throw grenades from one to another part of the layer, which will land directly in front of your feet. Rate of profanity: 95% of your sentences will contain profanity.

<--- Here's a nerd who, having cursed with all his strength, has been subject to an implosion brain


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Multiplayer
Playing multiplayer is extremely difficult. Not play. How long can you play. Fact to be able to start this mode you need the blessing of God himself. Before you start to connect to some server it is advisable some propitiatory ritual or sacrifice a virgin to Vishneva. This could and could repeat, to facilitate the arduous task. I'm not going to show you how we play in MP without owning the original game: it took me 2 months to forget those bad times and still go to a psychologist for this ... reopen old wounds.

Once able to access this mode, we expect other shit:

* When you connect to a server, the first thing that will make your team mate is fucking up the sniper rifle!
* When you realize to be the first server with zero death your router is turned off and I sign out.
* You are too caught the game that you realize you've missed an appointment with the girl.
* I am now 6 hours in a row that do not come off and suddenly you scream behind Your father and stays dry with fear.
* A power to press the keys on the keyboard cracks of the score and you can not see when you're Nabb (how lucky).
* A power Rosik, shouting, swearing in six Nabb, you lose the item and jump to the CW's most important month.
* There is always LAG.
* Your teammates are always the most Nabb the game.
* After 4 hours of game you shoot, you're hallucinating and you see Chuck Norris kicks spinning and fear shut down the PC (you were first).
* Trying to use the cheat (Nabb) and you realize that PunkBuster is active when you have been banned from driving.
* Do you think you stop being NERD, only playing 5 hours a day instead of play 6?
* Did you get the nickname to be put into the game after 3 months of hard research ... shame you have copied the 5 minutes before your friend.
* You're all intrippato playing when suddenly you see the word "Activision We hope you have fun" and right after you log off the game and start cursing why did you do in your life!
* You probably have a computer too Nabb to play Cod4.
* Or perhaps to buy the original game you have to do the debts?
* Better perhaps horseracing ...


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Multiplayer Call of Duty 4 and Murphy's Law
* The more you kill enemy helicopters.
* When you think the opponent has the packaging because it is locked at 1 meter from you and rejoices stabbing in fact you who are already aging and death at least 5 times.
* If you try to see you soon camper, if you try to rush the sniper who killed you and we campers will kill you where you were before you can kill a noob you've chased him for half an hour and finally you managed to aim for.
* In all against all if 20 people are killing and try to shoot the pile formed Everyone turned and targeting TE ..
* Your helicopters do not kill nobody
* Guardacaso always finishing the air raid where you're you.
* When you reload the chance to meet an enemy increases exponentially.
* If you have 2 claymore and 3 possible places to position, the first enemy always comes from the only place you have left by Claymore.
* If you have 2 claymore and 2 possible places where the square, the enemies take forever while you are placing.
* When triggered the bomb in Search and Destroy, there's always the nightmare of c4 that kills you.
* When you decide to put you on c4, or not kill anyone or be killed first by an enemy and you can not trigger the c4.
* The connection is always your enemy.
* While you were emptying a magazine to him, the enemy will do a couple shots to kill you.
* When you try to shoot down a helicopter with an RPG missile trajectories will always strange missing the target. The enemy will always take your helicopter instead.
* The UAV enemies are always launched when you decide to go round the other side and take the enemy from behind.
* When you will use instead the UAV it is too late and the enemy is already behind you ready to stab you.
* Your knife can not kill anyone.
* Enemies will always stabbed by shooting while standing out, especially when you're about to pull the trigger of your sniper rifle.
* Your martyrdom is not never kill anyone, the only veteran kill your buddies.
* The martyrdom of the enemy draws you towards him and any other player on your team.
* The time of disengagement is eternal for you, but available for enemies.
* When you point the gun toward an area, a dog will never go away.
* As soon as you move from another part will aim at a whole procession.
* When you are in 6 kills in a row almost always die ... and often for a bullshit.
* The chance of dying increases exponentially with 2, 4 and 6 kills.
* When the enemy targeted by the sniper is always opposite to the point where targeted and before you know it kills you or a millisecond before you pull the trigger.
* If, after being killed, respawn near an enemy, you are always in front of him.
* But when the enemies respawn near you, will always be behind you.
* When you put the bonus silence, there will always be your partner that a casino will attract attention and incredible enemies.
* You will play 8 games in 10 on maps you do not like.
* If you find a good number of enemies on which to launch a grenade lag or "edges" will cause the grenade blasts you in the face.
* When you miss a fraction of a second to defuse the bomb, the most Nabb server will kill you.
* In a headquarters in shipments will rispawnerete always already dead.
* When the rush of opponents sling grenades on you as they were of the sluts in heat.
* When you are holding a flash or a grenade to get her the chance to meet an enemy increases exponentially.
* A grenade into the room, try to escape but one of your teammate is on the door. Result: you die, he'll steal the sniper rifle.
* If you go to meet an enemy stabbing sure you can do it and he will miss the target instead of answer you accoltellerà forever.
* If you are the team that is winning, the self-balancing teams will bully you in the other team, where are all the NABBA OF COD. Such as ones that stop at the gates.
* Each time you'll be aiming at an enemy, you will have your head in your optical drive and you'll be to click on the mouse will Nabb as the server that will kill you from behind.
* After 4 hours you continue to die, you'll be able to aim the head the only pro player of the game and you will hang the connection!
* When I finally found an enemy that gives you back, decide to use the knife (not to feel Nabb) but the shot will go empty and even before you extract the mp5 you find the words "You were killed by .."
* The only grenade thrown by an opponent at the beginning of the match always hit you.
* When you follow a handful of allies to take action together you'll be the first to die.
* When you're writing the first message you happen always an enemy behind and the only thing visible on the screen are the letters that you wrote senseless trying to escape.
* 7 magazines with your weapon Nabb correspond to 2 shots with the weapon of your opponent.
* You will be the only player among 16 participants to peck the only Claymore placed in the one place most of the lost map.
* Grenades thrown by enemies are inexplicably attracted to you and kill you forever, grenades thrown by you never kills even a dog.
* In a match search and destroy the shells of a grenade launcher enemy always strikes you, for all rounds.


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The harsh law of Search and Destroy
* When you're planning to commit because you only have a precious life, the loss after 2 seconds due to spwan Beginning with grenade launchers match.
* Your teammates are always Nabb.
* Your teammates are so Nabb them are still in the bottom of the map and watch the grass or search for "good" caches not to disturb the real players.
* When your teammates nubbi remained alone and only need to defuse a bomb timer in 40 seconds what do they do?: 1) You lose the map, why not look at the symbols "A" or "B" to defusing. 2) They think they are being careful cunning enemies remained, when not even look at the screen to see that they are the only fools in the game; risutalto: timer expired. 3) They run like crazy and end up disregarding the walls 90% against a claymore. 4) There is next to the bomb defusing and want to do the Ganzi firing in the air and the enemy dead (killed by another) or pretending to disinescare; result: 50% shoots too much and has no time to defuse, 25% are messes with the keys because he wants to turn the night and ends with an overview to place the bomb to be defused, 1% wanted to defuse the last second and you forget that it takes slightly more than 5 seconds, where there is no defusing 1.37 seconds.
* Your ignition and disengagement is eternal.
* The enemies and defuse trigger almost instantaneously.
* You are 2 hours to choose which weapon is best to use at that time that 20 seconds pass and you can not change weapon.
* When you are certain that the enemy bait in a given area, it sure is behind you that you are stabbed.
* When you place there is always a surprise to one of your fellow idiots who throws a smoke aid credit; risultalto: all enemies of the map where there's smoke rush.
* When you place chips on "A" for sure there are enemies and "B" is empty while similar otherwise.
* When you defend the "A" enemies piazzano definitely on "B" while similar otherwise.
* When do you hope to someone with the sniper spawn 3 hours and aims at one point, will never pass anyone.
* When you decide to go in later rounds, quickly without sniper, there is the enemy that kills you in the replay and see it's the same spot where MIRAVI in the previous round.
* When the enemy launched a bomb will take forever, even if you hide inside a house in the bottom of the map, believing that he never took it from there.
* When you launch the bomb if you're lucky you cross out the damage.
* When you're at 3 to 3 is the 99% that the extra time you decide to change or not the team just like you do not want you.
* The enemies always know where you exit and spawn before you enter.
* When you take the bomb there will always be one of your fellow Nabb will raise it before you (even though he is 10 yards behind you).
* When you do not wish to take the bomb there is always some friend who pushes you and makes you take.
* When searching for a shot at the enemy in secret, there's always your fellow idiots making a slaughterhouse and you will discover.
* 2 When in the enemy shoots at 99.9% before to you and your partner nubbo kill the enemy who has killed.
* When enemies camper you are always attracted to their hiding places.
* When you win the chance that there is broken connection increases dramatically.
* When you make a C & D (search and destroy) Veteran increase the likelihood that your companions will kill most crucial moments in the game, when playing the bimbominkia'll kill you as you wanting to defuse the bomb defusing them, but then ends in time and Bomb explodes in the face; Rosik too much and in all the following rounds take a bazooka and we'll throw on the ground, killing all your teammates.
Motorhomes
<--- A common campers work

Motorhomes are the most horrible and cowardly creatures that exist on CoD4. It is equipped with C4, Claymore, walls of reinforced concrete 2x2, DPO, and still are in any way waiting for the enemy stood before them. Are prenonimi of curses, insults and Inguri. Kill a camper is a great satisfaction. A good system against the camper is to buy too, so the game will end in a draw and you can easily go out to you for a walk and leave the game on.

Places of establishment camper:

* Case of 2x2.
* Vegetation: plants, trees, thick grass.
* Basements of homes
* In the process
* Behind you and anywhere you think there can be nn
* Before the bomb defuse
* In the sewers
* Inside the closets of your room

Other synonyms for camper: bastards, bitches & the like, n00b, microcephaly, cowards, mongoplettici, infamous.

Typical phrases gave the campers: "How can you enjoy yourself in this way?" But in the mountains with the Boy Scouts fennel, you've already been there? "Curses and Inguri varied.

Typical phrases from these campers: "I seek a simulation of war, if I go around shooting and dying that simulate getting? As in real war looks like the enemy and ambush."


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Curiosity
* The helicopters will encounter in the game will all be run out of fuel. And they will go when needed. (This dramatically increases the level you start cursing the player at Activision)

* The weapons collected during the game are always exhausted, but have never been used.

* When you get a flash on your screen is always in full white and the only thing you can read is "PINCOPALLINO killed you," when instead you flashi an enemy openly and gleefully run towards your prey, he will fire at random and you reread "PINCOPALLINO killed you"

* Your grenade launchers, grenades, c4 and claymore, they will almost never affect enemies when an enemy uses one of these things, seems to have launched a nuclear bomb

* In sabotage, six succeeded in placing the bomb after 20 minutes of exhausting struggle, missing a handful of seconds and the host always ends the game, leaving you with a half smile that heralded the victory.

* In Domain mode, there is always an external voice that makes the spy to the enemy when trying to capture a flag!


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External Links

Sex in Cod4
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Soldier 24 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 3:25

Fuk u m8 i dont read that No
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Gunner 46 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 3:34

DO IT!!!!
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Soldier 24 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 4:11

Nijow
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Gunner 46 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 4:18

READ IT!! ITS WORTH !!! ULL LAUGTH TILL TUESDAY!!
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Soldier 24 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 4:27

Nooooooooooooooooooooo i wont
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Gunner 46 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 4:36

DOOO IT!!!
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by Andisx on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 6:20

lol sry but no one will read this... it's way too long
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

Post by The Gunner 46 on Sat 7 Nov 2009 - 15:34

ITS LONG BUT VERRRYYYY FUNNNYYY!!! EVEN THE COD NON-FANS CAN LAUGTH WITH IT
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Re: MUST READ FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!

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